The Enchanted Peacock

Where did all the cardigan loving, coffee drinking theatre geeks go? Am I the only one? In the grand metropolitan known as New York, I found a new life as an introverted singleton.

In the grand tradition of gay spinsterhood, I took a positive outlook to dating woes. Fuck you, Grindr. Fuck you, Tinder. Fuck you, dating apps with false promises of good sex and/or a relationship.

Rather than deleting the apps, I kept them. There was the false hope I could meet a potential prince charming. Like a grand peacock, he would delight me with his colorful shell and dazzling wit.

I met a charming fellow in Portland, during my great bohemian expedition out west. He shattered the walls I built around my own private kingdom. With a simple grabbing of the hand, I was swept off my feet.

Unfortunately, my bearded, Pacific Northwest prince lived too far. So, we couldn’t ride into the sunset together. Thanks to modern technology, we stayed in touch via text.

On a particularly lonely spring morning, I awoke from slumber at 4 AM. For the world’s most non-morning person, this was agony. A minute after rising from slumber, I received a text from the Portland guy. “I miss you,” it read.

The phone rang with great fury. We talked. It was amazing. Together, we indulged in his vinyl music collection. As we drifted into musicale ear pornography, I realized, “oy, he has great taste in music, but lives oh so far.

The conversation grew more intimate. Although, we only spent a week together, the bond had been formed. Had I found my enchanted peacock? The conversation drifted toward its end.

Before hanging up, he played, “So far away” by Carol King. My heart sunk. Why couldn’t he live in New York? Why was there a continent in between us? Will I find another guy with such an extensive vinyl record collection? I thanked the gods of bad sleep for my intriguing early morning.

After hanging up the phone, I felt a little more connected and loved. If my long distance relationship never amounted to anything, but phone dates, we’ll always have Portland.

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