Uptowners

While awaiting my flight, home to New York, anticipation grew. “Gee, I’ve only been away for five days, but already I miss my friends, coffee shops, and wandering the city on foot for hours.

More importantly, I bought lovely new frocks while on my California holiday. I couldn’t wait to parade around the East Village in dazzling new cardigans.

After landing in EWR, I waited for my train into the city. The humidity levels rose. “Oy, Toto, we’re not in humid free, California any longer,” I declared. Sweat dripped into the train platform’s bleak concrete, forming miniature rivers.

I glared at my carry on, which was filled with wonderful new clothes, designed for cold weather. Happy thoughts, said I. Pea coats, sweaters and cardigans with those words, I took a flying saucer and ventured back to the Polar Vortex.

Snow, slush and more snow, the city had morphed into a splendid upside down, snow globe. In icy temperatures, I walked along practically deserted, Park Avenue. “This isn’t so bad, empty side walks and single digits temperatures, said I. Harmoniously, my teeth sounded like a well tuned type writer from shivering. “At least, it’s not hot,” I declared.

It snowed randomly, even on days when it wasn’t forecasted. Being a native Californian with plenty of East Coast winters under my belt, the blizzards were still thrilling. Something about the cold weather gave me a strong craving for comfort food.

“Pickles, why am I craving pickles?” asked I. Cucumbers are the food I fear the most. However, I was craving sliced fried pickles. Even the feared cucumber/pickles tasted delicious, when fried. I made a bold step for foodies everywhere. I called my friend Anna. “Let’s go to Harlem Public. I am craving their fried pickles,” said I. Anna agreed.

In the midst of heavy snow, we marched up the street, toward Broadway. Classic Harlem brownstones with lavish stoops were filled with white powdery snow. It fell from the sky and blinded the naked eyed.

As a winter enthusiast, I wondered, “why am I going up a hill in a snow storm for fried pickles?” Both of us just wanted to go home.

“Frosty the snowman was a very happy soul,” I started singing Christmas carols. If anything could make a journey in rough conditions delightful, it was campy Christmas music. Anna joined along. By the time we wished each other a very merry Christmas for third time, there it stood, Harlem Public. We had arrived. We wiped the snow from our black coats and ran inside.

The restaurant was packed. After a few minutes of waiting, we sat at our table and quickly ordered the fried pickles. One bite and I realized the journey was well worth it.

After polishing up the pickles and a burger, we entered the twilight zone. Actually, it was more like food coma land, but they are both quite hypnotizing. I had a wonderful night’s sleep as snow continued to fall over Manhattan.

Let’s take the flying saucer back to this humid summer. I made it back to the city, which was engulfed in deep humidity. After reaching my apartment, I bolted toward my air conditioning unit. Eventually, my apartment morphed into the Polar Vortex: Part 2.

I unpacked my suitcase and lovingly hung my cardigans. “Don’t worry, cardigans, sweaters and pea coats. New York will once again feel like Antarctica. You will be out of the closet soon and back on the frosty sidewalks. I miss you, said I.” With that, I closed the closet, turned off the lights and forgot that it was 80 degrees with humidity, outside.

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