Boy Band

Grindr is a smart phone app, which makes the world just a little bit gayer. Thanks to modern technology, Grindr allows gay boys to see other gay boys in close proximity. The app even shows how many miles/feet away your dream man cake lives.

Once upon a time, I had a flip phone. I was lost in a dark hole with no Grindr in sight. Luckily, my buddy Nicole had an iphone. Back in New York, Grindr was more entertaining than a Broadway musical, drag revue and Madonna concert combined. When she downloaded the app on her phone, a smorgasbord of men appeared. I was in heaven.

We set up my profile with a silly picture I took at a Chinese restaurant in the Village. I just asked the usual ” hi how are you?” question. Nicole thought it would be funny to write and ask them random silly shit. In tough skin New York, the guys just laughed it off.

Anytime, we hung out around Midtown East, Nicole had to bring her charger. It was fun seeing how close these guys were to us. The guy who stood out the most, looked like the missing member of the Backstreet Boys. He had the flipped up collar and frosted tips.

Nicole tried to hold back her laughter and using my image, she asked him “do you boy band much?” It was funny. He replied “lol.” I continued my search for Prince Charming sans the frosted tips.

One faithful Friday night, Nicole and I wanted to go out on the town. She was staying on the Upper West Side and it was freezing that night. So, we stayed local. Best thing about New York is the bevy of gay hangouts, which are spread throughout the city. We looked up gay bars in the area via Google and found one so far uptown; it was practically the Arctic Circle of Manhattan.

When we entered the non-pretentious bar, sounds of hip-hop echoed heavily. Nicole and I looked at each other puzzled “is this really a gay bar?” However, the bar’s close proximity to Columbia University equated a gaggle of gays in cashmere sweaters. Hence, we were at a gay bar. The guys were adorable, I was always looking for guys who shared my cashmere sweater fetish and there they were.

Nicole and I found a seat close to an outlet. She handed me her phone and I went on (drum roll) Grindr. From a distance, I saw frosted tips and the popped up collar. It was missing boy band guy. Nicole noticed too and she went up to him and asked if this was him on Grindr. He laughed. It was like finding Waldo in the most random of places.

The boy band guy had a bevy of friends, who pranced around Nicole. He had one friend, who was super quirky and wasn’t prancing to Janet Jackson. He and I mingled. Through the boy band guy, I met my new brunch buddy.

Brunching for gays is like receiving the Holy Communion on Sunday mornings. Only replace the leaven bread with eggs Benedict and the red wine with Mimosas and you have an authentically gay ritual.

We had many lovely brunches in Harlem. Then months later, I moved to California and ate more avocados at brunch. I also bought an iphone and could Grindr anytime I wanted.

Guys who Grindr, either get laid a ton, end up fueling the Starbucks stock (via a trillion coffee dates), just chatting and/or finding true love, while getting married on some roof top in Hell’s Kitchen. As, I travel through less urban parts of California, it’s fun to pull up Grindr and know that the gays are everywhere.

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